What Price Online Dating?
I've been thinking I might be tired of being alone. I’m contemplating signing up for online dating for seniors. First, let’s look at the pros and cons put out by the dating advice sites:
The Pros: 1. I might meet a man I can relate to - even spend time with. 2. There’s a chance we could share expenses. I might even meet a rich one. (No, of course that is not my primary motive - much.) 3. I have read that one third of these searches lead to marriages. (That could be good or bad in my case.) 4. No more bar dating. (I got in a lot of trouble when bar dating was the way to meet men.)
The Cons: 1. Men tend to want younger women and the man-woman ratio is a little discouraging. 2. I hear dating searches can become exhausting as well as frustrating. 3. Algorithms, I have read, do not work as well as expected in putting the right people
together. 4. Photos and profiles can lie. I could get a woman masquerading as a man, contemplating a
gender change when he/she figures out which she/he was originally. Or I could get a 10
year old kid.
With my paranoia, I may never show up for a date anyway.
Let's Examine My Stats 1. I’m 73 years old. 2. My last date was in 1973. 3. My last relationship with a man was 1983 – the year of my last divorce. 4. In the past, I have tended to latch on to good ole boys, usually cowboys, who drank a lot and called women names. I’m not sure I can make the change to search for someone domesticated and loving.
To Online Date or Not – That is the Question Do I want a date? Do I want a mate? Do I want to mess up a nearly perfect life? Except for the moments of aloneness- no one to play with at the beach, no one to have dinner with, no one to talk to, my life is just peachy. I have a livable retirement income, freedom 24 -7 to do what I want, daily walks when the sun shines, great writer friends, two healthy, happy daughters who are making more and more money every day and own property - who may be able to take care of me in my old age. But as a single woman and empty nester, there are days when I really long for someone to walk with, talk with, see a movie with, and who owns a four bedroom cottage at the beach.
I don’t know what I really want. I’ve tried to fill out profiles online and come away with the idea I might not know who I am at all. I’m not that excited about sex as it hasn’t served me well in past years, but I do like the idea of being wrapped in warm, strong arms on a cold winter night. I guess in a way I want someone who measures up to my best girlfriend – talks to me for hours about everything and never fights – well, almost never.
It used to be we women were told to meet men in the local tea room or in church. That may have worked back in the day. I don’t know. Back then, as I said, I found all my men in bars. But recently, a Christian friend of mine told me a hair-raising story of her meeting a man in church who turned out to be a crazy stalker. So much for church.
How To Proceed The online dating advice sites tell me I should have a profile telling what I have to offer – like a sales pitch.I would have to work out how to present myself online, wouldn’t I? I’ve got some good photos. A head shot that blurs the lines of time. Some images that look like I’m having fun. And those that hide my extra 30 lbs. They say to add a sexy photo, put your best face forward. They say show some cleavage but I’m 42DDD with some slippage. A photo with my cleavage may be a ticket to watching TV alone on a Saturday night.
And what’s this about selling myself? What about what I want? Here's my wish list.
The man I want would be between 50 and 75, able to walk, talk and climb stairs (I live on the third floor), have eyesight with a filter so I look like a model when he squints, literate - can read and write – even pick up a book occasionally – or preferably more often, votes Republican unless the candidate is Donald Trump, loves Mexican food, can cook because I can’t, likes to fish – trout from a slow stream all they way to a deep sea marlin adventure.
He also should have a sense of humor but is not a stupid prankster like George Clooney or Brad Pitt. (I would take George just for the kissing and hugging - no pranks!) Look at me, I’m already being unfaithful to my online date! But I’m not the first woman who has done that with George.
Well, I took a chance and went on to a senior dating site, plugged in a profile and let my wishes be known. And lo and behold, I found a match. Meet Harry, my first date.